I don’t think it’s always easy to live by your values.
Take kindness, for example.
Some days I find it the hardest thing in the world to simply bestow a “hello, how are you?” to others. Not because I don’t care, but because I care too much. Sometimes I find living your values to be difficult because others don’t value or treat them the same way. And when you are the only one engaging with said value in such an intense manner, it can be hard to drum up the energy to continue.
Some days, living by your values is scary. It may require reflection, ponderance, or action you aren’t ready for. Yes, some days can be hard because you have to want to strive for more.
But you know, nothing in life is ever easy.
Every good thing takes work – and that’s an understated gift. Yes, a gift. Because hard work breeds empowerment. It makes you, you. But being you and living life, it takes work. It takes discovering. Uncovering. Learning. Relearning. Growing up. Staying young.
Being you and living life means realizing letting go doesn’t necessarily mean giving up, but rather it means choosing another direction.
During the spring semester of my master’s program at UGA, I took a course focused on team leadership. Throughout the semester, we blazed through a lot of content and discussed many dimensions of teams, including the components of a team, the benefits of emotional intelligence, and the facets of collaborative communication that encourage teams to grow. While I learned a ton from this content, what I found to be the most impactful part of the class was our final assignment, a leadership philosophy statement. Though we were asked to discuss leadership in the team setting, I spent a significant part of my paper talking about what I found to be even more important:
Being a leader means you must find how you are first and foremost the leader of your own life before you are the leader of anyone else.
Side note: This past semester, I was in the doctoral level leadership course, and I wrote my final paper on authentic leadership. Coincidentally, this concept – authentic leadership – is exactly what I wrote about last spring. Funny how things like that come full circle.
When I was younger, I thought everyone was either a leader or a follower. After a lot of thinking and reading, I realized that simply is not true – and I am embarrassed to admit that was my viewpoint for a long time.
I suppose, in a way, I can place the blame on the culture of media, which often portrays leaders as big, bold, intimidating, alpha-type personalities.
But that’s not really an excuse.
We should uphold the ideal that anyone can be a leader, especially when said leader arises within a context where they have an inherent interest in the project at hand, a drive to increase their learning, and see success within said interest.
I would like to propose an idea – an iteration and tangent from the leadership philosophy I submitted – what if the real root of the quiet beauty of astute leaders stems from their ability to lead and direct their own life first? What if that person also heard my grant proposal professor say “show me, tell me, why you need funding”? Or analogously, why do you care? Why do you want to help people? Why do your ideas matter? Why do you feel called to lead in that particular area?
Bottom line: Before you can lead anyone else, I believe you must learn to authentically and decisively lead your own life.
But how?
By being bold. Loving. Gracious. Joyous. Courageous. Adventurous. Curious. Reflective. Thoughtful. Giving.
By being someone who stands up for you, even in moments when it feels confrontational.
By being someone who knows when enough is enough. Because you matter – your feelings, voice, perspective, wisdom – it all matters.
By being someone who knows when to take a second away from it all – for you – simply just to be you, to find you, to radiate you.
And if you can do that, every effort will always be worth it.
ON HAPPINESS 
💛🦋
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