Chapter 20 – What if

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When I was five years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up.

I wrote down “happy.”

They told me I didn’t understand the assignment. I told them they didn’t understand life.

John Lennon

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What if happiness and creativity are the same things?

When I first set out to write On Happiness, I had this idea: Life is, or instead, should be, a pursuit of purpose, not happiness. Also: Our actions, choices, experiences, and so much more are defined – or guided – by our values. But not the overarching societal values we are supposed to believe. Personal values, values formed because of the life we live.

Essentially, I think happiness is the by-product of a value-driven life.

Some days may just not be your day, but with these values in mind, you can get through anything. It’s as if your values are actual, tangible strongholds ready to catch you when you fall, an insurance policy if you will.

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Throughout the writing of this blog, especially last summer when I was in my creativity course, I had this thought:

What if (true) happiness and (true) creativity are exactly the same states of being?

I think it is a bit of an odd thought, really.

I mean, on the one hand, you have happiness, a state of contagious joy, something you can give others, something that hopefully and radiantly exudes outward.

On the other hand, you have creativity. This is more so like an intense commitment, where the creator devotes their being to making some thing that wholly, authentically, and tangibly represents the entirety of their thoughts at that moment.

These two don’t really seem the same to me.

But when I step back and really think about it, I am happiest when I am creating, whether that is concocting my latest adventure, completing a class assignment, or even making dinner, I find I am full of life. I think I am also at my best creatively when I am happy.

Here’s another thing, too.

There was a TED talk we were assigned to watch in that creativity course. Elizabeth Gilbert was the speaker, and in this particular talk, she discussed the idea of “your elusive creative genius.” Her questions took her to ancient Greece and Rome. In these times, creativity was thought to be something that had you, that came onto you, as if it were a daemon or a “genius.” She also referenced the sacred dances of North African cultures:

But every once in a while, very rarely, something would happen, and one of these performers would actually become transcendent. And I know you know what I’m talking about, because I know you’ve all seen, at some point in your life, a performance like this. It was like time would stop, and the dancer would sort of step through some kind of portal and he wasn’t doing anything different than he had ever done, 1,000 nights before, but everything would align. And all of a sudden, he would no longer appear to be merely human. He would be lit from within, and lit from below and all lit up on fire with divinity….

But, the tricky bit comes the next morning, for the dancer himself, when he wakes up and discovers that it’s Tuesday at 11 a.m., and he’s no longer a glimpse of God. He’s just an aging mortal with really bad knees, and maybe he’s never going to ascend to that height again. And maybe nobody will ever chant God’s name again as he spins, and what is he then to do with the rest of his life? This is hard. This is one of the most painful reconciliations to make in a creative life. 

And, also, remember Leon Logothetis?

When you have these moments, when you feel connected with the divine, you have further to fall. That is the price you pay for pursuing life.

I don’t know about you, but I thought his proposition uncannily resembled Elizabeth Gilbert’s TED talk.

But, the difference?

Logothetis presented his summation of the continuum of emotions related to an ultimate state of happiness contrasted with the deepest sadness, while Gilbert spoke about a state of transcendence resulting from being wholly, authentically, and tangibly creative. But the part that really got me was how they both described anguish, the result of losing this presence of divinity, whether it was from a loss of happiness or creativity.

Before I get to my real point, let me also talk a tiny bit about this idea of transcendence.

Scott Barry Kaufman has this theory he calls the Sailboat Metaphor. It is based on the work of Abraham Maslow (as in, Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs), which Kaufman reimagines as a sailboat instead of a pyramid. Essentially, he posits self-actualization, the very tip of Maslow’s pyramid, is not the end goal but rather a state we flux into as a result of experiencing life. Of growing. Of being fully human. And it is a result of all these things we as individuals find this so-thought-of as an elusive state of self-actualization and transcendence.

And get this –

Exploration is the driver of all growth, defined by the desire to seek out and make sense of novel, challenging, and uncertain events, where growth is a direction, not a destination.

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Happiness is often a state of being found by working hard toward something you desire. Creativity is a result of transforming thoughts into something concrete, novel, appropriate, useful – something you. Both culminate in ultimate being – in transcendence, if you will – but can also be lost in a moment, only to be replaced by anguish.

But that’s life.

So what if?

What if life – and happiness – and creativity – really are by-products:

Of wandering and exploring?

• Of being a state-hopping fiend, an experience-seeking fiend?
• Of finding a place you love so much it hurts?
• Of finding a person and people you love so much it hurts?
• Of climbing a mountain, only to get to the top to admire how small you really are in the grand scheme of things and thoughts and the other others that exist?
• Of letting the beach, the water, take you away?
• Of existing and floating in the in-between?
• Of getting a bit knocked down only to get back up?
• Of never, never, never giving up?

Of living and being?

• Of finding – and embracing – the tiny moments of each day?
• Of being open to the world, as if to say, “I am here, I am ready”?
• Of seeing the stars?
• Of learning wild, crazy, and unique skills?
• Of being the bigger person?
• Of accomplishing unimaginable goals?
• Of ignoring rationale in your free time only to let yourself truly experience the world without any notion of a plan so as to let any and everything exceed any semblance of an expectation?
• Of meeting strangers who have lessons to teach and wisdom to share?
• Of seeing people?
• Of being in the magic of everyday life?
• Of letting yourself experience your actual emotions?
• Of letting the sun be the guiding force for the day?

Of growth and self-reflection?

• Of building community?
• Of finding, connecting, and collecting ideas?
• Of going out on a whim?
• Of existing in a perpetual state of awe, kindness, and gratitude?
• Of defining your values?
• Of extending grace to yourself when you need it most, and pushing your hardest when you are at your best?
• Of doing something you have never done simply to find a piece of yourself you never knew existed?

Of finding and sharing your real, inner, authentic voice?

• Of recognizing the value of your story?
• Of finding some way to share your story?
• Of building a resyoume?
• Of saying, “this is me”?

Of embracing the true privilege of every single opportunity afforded to you to become whole-heartedly exactly the person you want and strive to be?

At the end of the day, happiness and creativity are the pathways we take to reach the same state of being, this state of transcendence that Scott Barry Kaufman and John O’Leary and Leon Logothetis and Donald MacKinnon and Elizabeth Gilbert and so many others beautifully communicate is the ultimate key to living life.

So what if happiness and creativity are the essences of you?

We are all looking for ways to live as our most authentic beings. But how?

Well.

What if you just loved yourself? So much so that you let yourself selfishly chase your passions to create a life full of experiences to allow yourself to become the absolute best person you can be? And so you can impart some of this on the world?

Because when you become the absolute best version of yourself, the one that simply radiates to the world you are happy and loving and creative and welcoming and wonderful, there is no way we can’t all leave behind something a little bit better.

It is a gift to be you.

So what if you are your own sign telling you to stop questioning and to start wandering, living, and growing to find your own inner voice, to start asking what if?

It is a gift to live a life well-lived, a gift to find and embrace yourself, a gift to do the right thing for you.

Because when you do, when you exude, manifest, and embrace all you are meant to be, when you give the best of yourself – to yourself and to the world – you can change the world.

And that’s pretty powerful.

So I leave you with one final thought:

When you finally find your values and live by them, are you living a happy life or a creative life, or are they really just one and the same?

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While I’m here

I wanna go too far

I wanna play too hard

I wanna live it up ’cause I know

I only go so many years

I wanna lose myself

In someone else

I wanna feel it all

Do everything I wanna while I’m here

Mitchell Tenpenny